
“The wound is where the light enters.”
—Rumi
When you think of “trauma,” what comes to mind? Most of us think of the “big” things: Violence, natural (or human-driven) disasters, accidents, loss, tragedy, etc. These are examples of events or experiences that we might all agree are traumatic.
​
However, we may also experience trauma in our most intimate relationships... abandonment, betrayal, rejection, abuse, neglect, terror, antipathy, even ambivalence. As human beings, we need to feel seen, heard, and “felt” by significant others in our lives, in much the same way that we need food, shelter, and protection. When our childhood caregivers and our most intimate loved ones (when we are adults) cannot provide that (for whatever reason), our bodies may perceive these relationships as traumatic.
It can be helpful to think of “trauma” as any extraordinarily stressful event, experience, or relationship that shatters your body’s perceived sense of security. The greater the level of helplessness, overwhelm, isolation, and/or fear you feel, the more likely your body will “encode” the experience as traumatic.

the good news...
For the most part, we humans do a pretty good job at “processing” traumatic experiences. We are wired to “process” those experiences. We are wired to survive!
​
so what is this processing thing?
“Processed” trauma simply means that we are able to go through come out of a difficult experience with a true sense that it’s over and that we are safe. It goes something like this: We run into a bear in the woods. We find a way to survive; usually by fighting, fleeing, or if necessary, freezing. If we survive, the bear goes away and we have a true sense that it’s over. Whew! We're safe! And we can get on with life.
​
Trauma that goes “unprocessed” doesn’t know what to do with itself. So it lingers; it continues to live in the body, never really sure if we’re safe. The body, not knowing if it’s safe, continues to send signals of alarm, even when it is no longer necessary. We try to “move on,” but the body is still waiting for the next shoe to drop.
And that can have long-term consequences, some of which we aren’t even aware. It can impair our ability to connect—to ourselves, to our bodies, to others, and to the world—in meaningful and healthy ways. It prevents us from living the full, rich life we deserve.
​
And that leaves us feeling stuck! So what does that look like?
Symptoms can be emotional/psychological, physiological, cognitive, and/or behavioral:
-
Panic attacks, anxiety, phobias
-
Depression
-
Feeling “out of it” or disconnected from your body or the world around you
-
Avoidance
-
Patterns of relational instability
-
Aversion to social situations (isolation)
-
Addictions & other self-harm activities: drugs & alcohol, sex, shopping, food, gambling, smoking, cutting, “high-risk” behaviors, etc.
-
Nightmares or flashbacks
-
Sleep disturbances
-
Diminished sense of self (shame, worthlessness, etc.)
-
Poor memory (for a specific experience or for parts of the past, in general)
-
Problems with memory or concentration
-
Amnesia or profound forgetfulness
Symptoms may include some medical conditions, even when there is little explanation for symptoms:
-
Chronic pain, chronic fatigue, migraines or frequent headaches, fibromyalgia, lupus, heart disease, cancer, immune system disorders, digestive problems, lupus, pulmonary and respiratory conditions, etc.
Symptoms may also include neurological symptoms such as weakness, movement problems, sensory symptoms, non-epileptic seizures, tics or stutters, that may not have an obvious medical explanation. We now refer to this as Functional Neurological Disorder or FND, a “neuropsychiatric” disorder wherein the normal pathways the brain uses to move, feel, speak, walk, and/or think, are disrupted.
​
there is hope!
It is said that, “trauma survivors don't have memories, they have symptoms.”
The long-term nature of these symptoms can lead to unexplained emotionality, relational chaos or emptiness, deep internal pain or fear, or living life almost robotically. As a trauma specialist, those symptoms don’t tell me that something is wrong with you; they tell me that something happened to you.
Often clients with traumatic events or experiences in their past end up being treated for random symptoms that never address the underlying experience. When unaddressed, the symptoms tend to intensify and other symptoms may develop.
​
So let's do this together.